Well, I guess it feels like it is getting "easier" as the boys get bigger, some moments are more difficult (temper tantrums!), and the sheer fact that the boys are getting bigger, it makes me a little sad.
Dustin and I decided when we first found out we were having twins that we wouldn't have more children. Those feelings were cemented with return thoughts of miscarriage, infertility and pregnancy complications. For the most part, I am ok with just having the boys and our angel. But, watching them get bigger and needing their mommy's help a little less puts that ache in my uterus.
Last week, I made the impromptu decision to separate the boys and get them their own rooms. They had been sleeping in their cribs, which were converted to toddler beds, with the open side facing the wall (I have no idea how this "fooled" them for so long) but, Zachary had began to climb out of his crib, into his "brudder's bed." This would cause insane amounts of anger for Max, who would be so tired and then, Zach would jump into his bed. And not only did Zach climb into bed with Max, he also bit him. One day, he had over 8 bite marks on his back. Bitten 8 times in the span of time from Max screaming to me pulling Zach off. Zach wasn't being malicious, just "playful."
On Friday, the boys were exhausted and had settled down for nap time. I got them in their beds and sat outside their room, listening, just in case Zach tried to bite Max. Within one minute, I heard Zach climb out of his crib and into Max's. I went into their room, separated them, did the "goodnight" routine again and waiting outside the door. After the 3rd time of pulling Zach out of Max's bed and Max getting angrier, AND no nap in sight... I had enough.
I unplugged the computer from the wall and drug the desk into our bedroom, without moving a thing. I threw the mattress and box spring for the guest bed into the hallway. I frantically searched for the allen wrench and started disassembling a crib and pulled that into the hallway.
Dustin got home and seemed a little shocked. I had texted him earlier and asked, "are you ok with own bedrooms?" I don't think he understood the seriousness of my message, nor the determination to get these children to nap.
That night bedtime went without a hitch for Max. He climbed up into his big boy toddler bed, chewed on his blankie and fell asleep. It wasn't so great for Zachary. He sat in front of the bedroom door and sobbed for over an hour, crying for his "brudder." When he finally quieted down, we moved him to his bed for the night.
The boys woke up in great moods Saturday morning. However, Zachary woke up with the reddest face I have ever seen. He must have broken every blood vessel in his cheeks when he was screaming for the hour I made him cry it out. Of course, we had Christmas card pictures scheduled for Saturday morning. And although pictures went well, Zach looks ridiculous. If anyone asks, my excuse for his red cheeks will be that he got trapped in a nursing home with hundreds of little old ladies who pinch cheeks. Truthfully, he cried hard enough to get a red face.
He has never cried at bedtime again. And on Saturday, after pictures, they EACH took a FOUR HOUR NAP. Alleluia.
They wake up happy and the boys are actually happy to see each other. I know emotionally that separating them was more difficult for me (once I got past my initial crazy mommy moment of disassembling the guest bedroom). It was the same when the twins got their own cribs at 6 months. They shared a bed before that and when they each went into their own crib for the first time, I cried. They slept through the night and late into the morning. That transition was definitely harder for me than them.
I have a sneaking suspicion that is how watching your babies grow up feels. They hit transitions and adapt without issue. While the transitions will be harder for me. And as they continue to get bigger, needing less help from their mommy and my uterus will ache a little more. ;)