How is everybody tonight?
It's truly amazing how big Sara's belly is getting and how beautiful she looks as a pregnant Momma. It's so much fun watching her tum-tum grow knowing that the boys that look so peaceful and serene in the pictures will soon be here ravaging our house and tearing up my grass that I have worked so hard to get growing. :-)
I had a great discussion with my cousin Heather tonight. It was really nice hearing from you, if you read this! She was telling me what a blessing her children are and how much fun she has with them. It put a lot of things in perspective for me as far as what I am looking forward to. It's easy to sit here and look at things technically and try to cross every T and dot every I, but what she helped me realize is that having kids is more than that. It's an opportunity to love and care for something far greater than you could have ever comprehended before.
Maybe it was the way I grew up (which wasn't entirely bad at all, so please don't read that into this!) but I've really only known one way my whole life; my own way. That has its good and bad traits to it, but being forced to open up and realize that instead of living my life for me (and sometimes Sara - wink wink...) I will now be living it for somebody else. It's definitely a good thing, and gives us both something to look forward to every day instead of the daily grind of working, coming home, bitching and moaning about work, going to sleep so we won't be tired at work and then praying that the weekend brings some solace. That's a pretty shitty way of going about life, isn't it?
I've always been very selfish. I'm an only child; it's the only way I know and I am sticking with that reasoning. ;-) I can feel myself transforming and being more open to a family life. I've always known that I have wanted children - that has never been an issue, but it has always been very, very difficult for me to let other people into my own little circle. When I first met Sara, one of the first things that we talked and agreed upon was that we wanted kids and a family. Knowing that the family life that I have always envied from afar is going to be happening in my own house is very eye-opening and inspiring. All the things that I didn't have when I was growing up, the love from certain people that I never got are nothing but motivators to make sure that our family will be the one that people are jealous of.
I truly can't wait to meet my boys in person. I get kind of choked up even when I type that. It's one of those deals that you never think would happen to you. When I rub Sara's belly at night (she likes that - she says it's relaxing, it's not some sicko-perverted-fetish-freaky thing so get your mind out of the gutter) there is an overwhelming sense of pride and optimism that I have yet to be able to duplicate with any other thing. Suddenly material possessions feel pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
I still like the Camaro a lot, though...
Long story short is that I am still pretty damn excited about this whole deal and I want to thank each and every one of you for reading our silly little blog and joining in on our story. I think it will be pretty fun to show the boys when they get older all of the sarcastic and humorous (?) remarks and posts we made when they were still in Ma's belly.
Anyhoo, forgive my rambling. It's about 11PM, Sara and Alex are asleep upstairs and I am not tired so I thought I would "treat" you all to a little something-something on a late Friday evening.
Have a good weekend.